Trolling-Ryu Agreement
The party of the first part @Tatsumi)
being of sound mind and fairly good body, agrees to the following
with the party of the second part (@Angemon).
1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship
(trolling and rekting @Ryuzaki), each party
agrees to fully disclose any trolling bodies, dependent @Danger Devil, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases,
strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships
with @Chillivanilli else that have not yet been terminated. Further each
party agrees to make known any deep-seated
mother/father/brother/sister complexes and fanatical obsessions with
pets, careers, or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures
will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before
it has a chance to get anywhere.
2. INDEMNIFICATION OF TROLL: Both parties agree to hold the
trolling against @Ryuzaki only (colloquially referred to as the
"Blackhat guy") blameless in the event the "trolling guy" turns out to be a
"real pain in the a*s" or "psycho b*tch." (For definition of "real pain in the a*s," see
"John DeLorean: My Story," available at most bookstores; George
Hamilton at one of Imelda Marcos' parties; or any picture of Bob
Guccione in Penthouse. For definition of "psycho bitch," see Sharon
Stone in "Basic Instinct," or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction.")
3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed
past the first "fix-up" both parties mutually agree to use the
following terminology in describing their said "trolling": For the
first thirty (30) days both parties consent to say they are "going
to rekt Ryu." (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity.)
Following the first thirty (30) days said parties may say they are
"trolling Ryu" and may be referred to by third parties as "an
item."
Further, if both members of the party consent, this timetable may be
accelerated; however, if either party "gets too serious" and
disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the
relationship on the grounds of "trolling too fast" and may @Tatsumi get banned.
4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days both
parties agree not to ask questions about "Ryuzaki" whereabouts on
weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods so they can decide how to troll him.
5. TROLLING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days both members agree to be overly considerate of the other's trolling posts
and threads. A minimum of three (3) posts will be made between the two parties during the working
day, and each party will attempt - with best efforts - to originate
50% of the trolling posts.
Additionally, for the first two weeks all dates will be made at
least twenty-four (24) hours in advance; there will be no "Ryuzaki is a nice person" to console that old troll.
and both parties agree to strike the phrase "but he is an admin"
from their vocabulary. Further, during the first six (6) weeks each
member of said relationship agrees to attempt at least one
spontaneous "trolling that basta*d" and will arrange the delivery of at
least one unexpected trolling video. Following the first forty-
five (45) days both parties will return to their normal
personalities.
6. THE 90 DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each member
of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric use
of phrases like "Who start first" "Why can't we just ban him" and -- using archaic terminology--"Let's ban @KidRock"
Additionally, each party agrees to love, cherish, honor, and defend @Chillivanilli not to be trolled ever.
7. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be grounds
for immediate termination and final dissolution of said relationship:
(a) Excessive use of trolling pics;
(b) Ending any argument with the sentence "Ryu is nice";
(c) complaining more than twice about Ryuzaki.
8. MISCELLANEOUS:
(a) Each party agrees to give the other at least five minutes'
notice before trolling Ryuzaki.
(b) Both parties agree to remain active until Ryuzaki get tired.
(c) At the termination of said affair:
(1) both parties agree to be mature and do not making Ryuzaki cry.
(2) each party agrees to wait at least seventy-two (72)
hours before trolling Ryuzaki again.
9. ADDENDUM: After the initial trolling- no matter what - both
parties agree to give @Ryuzaki a chance to defend himself.
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